


take your time

by Yukari



Series: shuake's first lovers' holidays [1]
Category: Persona 5, Persona Series
Genre: Developing Relationship, Fluff, M/M, a soft story for the otp day, but then he actually doesn't, goro makes impulsive decisions and regrets them, post p5r canon, there is a spoilery version and one without spoilers, they both deserve a hug and that's what they get, valentine's day fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-13
Updated: 2020-02-13
Packaged: 2021-02-28 03:41:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 16,034
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22697278
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yukari/pseuds/Yukari
Summary: Goro really had no intentions of acknowledging the stupid commercial holiday known as Valentine's Day. Not when the only person he ever had interest in wasn't even in the same city, not when they weren't even in that kind of relationship. Well, not yet.It seemed like not everything could go according to a plan though, and sometimes following your heart was the right choice.
Relationships: Akechi Goro/Amamiya Ren, Akechi Goro/Kurusu Akira, Akechi Goro/Persona 5 Protagonist
Series: shuake's first lovers' holidays [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1662826
Comments: 19
Kudos: 216





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> happy valentine's day, everyone! please, accept my gift for you, i can only celebrate with shuake 
> 
> like i said in the tags, this fic has two versions! they're both pretty much the same, except the second version has a short additional scene and some modified dialogues. i edited them out for those who don't want to be spoiled on p5r ;;; so! if you're spoiled, please jump to chapter 2!

“...and that’s why I think one of the students that are failing is the culprit, and the other cases are just to mislead the investigation,” Ren said from the other side of the call. “I probably shouldn’t get involved, but this place is so boring without you.” 

Goro was sort of glad Ren couldn’t see the dumb smile his words made appear on his face. 

“You graduate soon enough. You can lay low until then, don’t you?” 

“Technically I can, but imagine the emotional toll of leaving this case unsolved,” he replied, his voice unnecessarily dramatic. “I’m just curious.”

“If I was there, I wouldn’t be telling you to do that, trust me,” Goro said. “It’s amusing to hear you so invested in some country trouble though. You really must be suffering out there… If it was at least a murder case-” 

“We don’t really get those here too often, mister detective. And I feel like the last time I saw any civilization was in summer,” Ren sighed. “I miss having trains running every few minutes.”

“One could say that living in the city for a year got to your head.” He couldn’t muffle the snort of a laughter that escaped him.

“Goro, I kid you not, to get out of here I’d have to wait for hours. It’s like a different dimension," the other boy complained. "Actually, you should visit me at least once before I come back to Tokyo."

"Huh? What for?” Goro frowned at the suggestion. They talked a lot, but this wasn’t something that ever came up. 

“To experience cultural shock.” 

“Who do you take me for?!” 

“A city kid,” Ren said. “By the way. It’s Valentine’s Day in two weeks. Are you spending it with anyone?” 

Maybe going out to the balcony to stand there while talking to Ren wasn’t a good idea. The moment he asked that question Goro almost dropped his phone. He also didn’t hesitate to tell Ren about it. 

“What the hell are you thinking, asking me something like this?! I almost dropped my phone off the balcony!” 

“Sorry- Wait, did you say balcony? Goro, it’s February, why are you standing outside?” Ren asked, and he could almost see his face scrunched up in confusion. 

“The sky looks nice from here sometimes,” he replied simply, looking up at the stars adorning the night sky. He actually liked just watching them. 

No matter how much time passed or what happened, the sky remained the same. If Ren looked out of the window now, he’d see the same sky, too. It was sort of comforting, even though he’d never admit something so sentimental out loud…. He couldn’t even tell when he started thinking things like that. Maybe Ren’s sentimental side was rubbing off on him. 

“Okay, that’s… a fair argument,” Ren said with a hum. “I’m sitting by the window and I forgot that in Tokyo you don’t really get a nice view just by looking out. You really should come here and see.” 

_ Looking at the same sky, huh.  _ It’s not like Ren could’ve known his thoughts, he had no reason to feel this embarrassed, but for some reason he did. 

Admitting his own feelings was a terribly tiring and embarrassing experience, even if just to himself. Did everyone feel like that, or was it just him, because of how messed up his road to get there was? 

“Hey, you changed the topic though.”

“I didn’t. I only told you that your idiotic question almost ended this conversation,” he replied, not really getting where it was going anyway.

“Don’t be a coward, answer it.” 

“Don’t push your luck, Ren.” 

“Or what, you’ll hang up on me? I just asked if you have a date,” Ren said with a laugh, and suddenly his embarrassment mattered so little, because Ren laughed so rarely, and Goro found it so satisfying to be the reason for his laughter. 

“I don’t think there’s anyone around who’s worth my time on such a special day,” he finally replied, not knowing what was stronger in this sentence, the sarcasm, or the emphasis on  _ around.  _ “And you?” 

“Pretty much same. Just like last year, I suppose.” 

Did Goro breathe out in relief upon hearing that? Maybe he did. 

“Ah, so you asked me about it because you didn’t want to feel like a loser?” 

“No, I could totally get a date if I wanted. You too, probably, you’re attractive after all.” Ren stated, as if he was talking about the weather. Goro felt the sudden urge to hang up, just because he didn’t know how to react to it. “And yet, we’re both single. A weird kind of solidarity, huh?” 

_ There’s literally no one I’d choose over you. _

That’s not something he could say. He really couldn’t force himself to do so yet. 

“You’re being dramatic. It’s just a day like any other day,” he said instead. 

“To you,” Ren replied. “I’m going to buy tons of discounted chocolate the next day, and then eat it in front of Morgana, who can’t touch it, because cats can’t eat chocolate.” 

Goro thought that he’d never loved someone as much as he loved Ren. 

“Go ahead and make yourself sick,” he laughed, imagining Ren spitefully eating the ton of chocolate. It looked like a very dumb scene, especially since Goro knew he didn’t even like sweets.

“You’re underestimating me. I won the Big Bang Burger challenge several times.” 

“That’s because you have no sense of self-preservation,” Goro said.

“Look who’s talking!” 

They could tease each other like this, but in the end, neither of them was better than the other. Goro understood it at some point. They were better at taking care of each other than of their own person. It seemed like an insane thought, but actually… it was the truth. 

“I’m doing perfectly fine,” Goro muttered, embarrassed by his thoughts. Oh, how he wished this was easier. “Also, it’s strange that I still haven’t heard Morgana reminding you that he’s not a cat.”

“He’s not here,” Ren replied, going along with the change of topic. “He claims it’s boring to listen to us go on about everything and nothing for hours, so he went for a walk.” 

“W-Wha- Did you just say hours?” He moved the phone away from his ear to check the time. “Shit, it’s past midnight…” 

“So?” 

“So? Go to sleep, idiot. Wasn’t Morgana the one taking care of your sleep schedule?”

“Maybe he hoped you’d be responsible enough to do it instead.” 

“I am, now. Go to sleep.”

“Alright, alright,” Ren said with a laugh. “Goodnight, Goro. Talk to you soon?” 

His voice was so light and soft that Goro couldn’t help but smile to himself. He doubted Ren knew it, but he’d often use this tone when talking to him. It was endearing. Comforting. 

Made him feel wanted. 

“Sure. Goodnight, Ren.” 

Maybe one day he’d get to say it not over the phone.

*** 

Goro really thought Valentine’s Day was going to be just a day like any other, but sadly, he was forced to realize something had changed. When he was still famous, it was just an occasion to get some free sweets and then hide from his fangirls. Last year… well, things were complicated. He didn’t like to think about it. This year? As much as he didn’t want to admit it, it could only be described as… 

Yearning. 

_ So embarrassing,  _ he thought as the next day he stared at the cheesily decorated shop window of a store in the underground mall, one that announced incoming Valentine’s Day products.

He didn’t have any shopping to do, he was just killing time before his train home and for some reason, he ended up here.

It’s not like he could just buy something and hand it to Ren. He wasn’t even there anyway. This was pointless. 

He wouldn’t even buy anything for him in the first place. They weren’t dating. Not yet, maybe not ever. 

“Se~npai!” A familiar voice interrupted his embarrassing thoughts, bringing him back to reality. Turning around, he was greeted with the sight of a red-haired girl smiling at him, with two others trailing behind her, all wearing Shujin uniforms. 

“Ah, it’s you,” he muttered.

“What is this supposed to mean? We haven’t seen each other in a while,” Yoshizawa said with a slight pout. Goro felt a little guilty, it was like kicking a puppy. 

“Sorry,” he replied, giving her an apologetic smile. “I didn’t really expect to see you here.” 

“We’re going to the movies,” Takamaki explained, coming closer. “Wanna join us, Akechi-kun?” 

Goro glanced at Futaba, staying a little behind Takamaki. Their eyes met for a moment and the girl nodded, as if telling him it was fine… 

“I think I’m going to pass,” he muttered. “I have some college work to do. Maybe next time.” 

“Sure, but next time you’re not allowed to reject the invitation,” Takamaki said cheerfully. 

“By the way, senpai, what were you doing here? This store… Oh!” Yoshizawa’s eyes widened, as if she realized something. “Getting ready for Valentine’s Day?” 

“Don’t be ridiculous,” Goro snorted at the question. “You probably know this, but the next day after this stupid holiday, all this chocolate is going to be on sale. Most likely because the sellers want to take advantage of those who are lonely or heartbroken… I was just wondering how much I can spend on discounted chocolate.” 

“That’s an awfully pessimistic view…” Futaba mumbled. 

“I am anything but optimistic,” he replied, smiling widely. Yoshizawa even laughed. She probably understood his sense of humor the best out of these three. 

“Lonely or heartbroken… Wait, does that include you as well?” Takamaki asked, this time catching him off guard. 

“Huh?” 

“Is everything okay between you and Ren?” She asked another question, confusing him even more.

_ Huh? _

“Huh?!” Goro let out another unidentified sound, feeling his face heat up. What was this supposed to mean?!

“Ren wouldn’t break his heart just before Valentine’s Day…” Futaba said. “They’re probably still pining.” 

“W-What are you talking about?” He forced out, and all the girls exchanged amused glances. 

“Well, it’s probably not something we should get involved in,” Yoshizawa began, “but it’s not hard to see you two like each other. Good luck, senpai.” 

“We should get going, actually, if we don’t wanna be late,” Futaba said, checking the time on her phone. “You sure you don’t wanna come with us, lonely guy?” 

“I’d appreciate if you didn’t call me that, and I already said I don’t have the time,” he replied, already feeling a headache incoming. He didn’t really like being teased. Maybe with the exception of Ren, but that’s… 

“Whatever, then.” Futaba just shrugged. “You’re missing out on the new Featherman movie. Let’s go, Kasumi.” 

“You two can go ahead, I’ll catch up to you,” Takamaki said, and the two younger girls nodded, leaving them behind. Then she turned to Goro again. “You know, if you need any advice on how to handle things with Ren, I’m here to help. I know you two know each other the best, but sometimes you can be a little…” 

“Unpleasant?” 

“No, I like you the way you are. It’s refreshing. What I wanted to say is... a little emotionally dense,” she laughed.

“...are you trying to play my therapist now?” 

“No, I don’t think I’d take that job even if I was educated for that.” Takamaki gave him a sympathetic glance. “But I do want to offer my help when I can. That’s what friends are for.” 

_ Friends.  _ Was that what they were? Takamaki was a nice girl, brave, hardworking and with a strong will. He had a lot of respect for her, even if she was too naive sometimes. But friends…?

His hesitation must’ve shown on his face, since Takamaki just smiled at him. 

“Take your time, Akechi-kun. If you ever need me, you have my number. And good luck with Ren! If not now, there’s going to be a lot of other chances.” 

With that, she was gone, leaving him even more embarrassed than he previously was. 

Feelings… even positive, were a lot harder to process than they should be.

*** 

The next two weeks passed rather peacefully. He obviously didn’t contact Takamaki Ann to ask her for help, but he did text her to ask if she wanted to hang out. Even he could get lonely sometimes, and Takamaki was easier to be around than most of the people he knew. They got crepes and talked about some mundane things. It was a nicer experience than he expected and he probably should do it more often. 

Something about her reminded him of Ren. 

And so, that cursed day arrived.

“Se~npai!” 

“No.” 

“I didn’t even say anything yet!” Yoshizawa exclaimed, raising her hands defensively. “I just wanted to say hello, since I spotted you here, while we’re both waiting for our trains!”

“I know you well enough to know you’re scheming something,” Goro said, giving the girl a smirk. “What is it?” 

“Tehe, you saw right through me,” she giggled, reaching inside her school bag and pulling out a small, nicely wrapped box. “I made some for everyone, even though I wasn’t sure if you’d accept it.” 

With that, she handed it to him. 

“What is this supposed to be…” He asked with a frown, but taking it hesitantly. 

“It’s Valentine’s Day. Neither you, nor Ryuji-senpai or Yusuke-senpai have a date today, so I made you some treats so you wouldn’t feel as lonely. I’m glad I managed to run into you here,” Yoshizawa said cheerfully. “I can’t guarantee it tastes good though.” 

“Wait... Did you really just… for me?” Goro muttered, feeling a little lost. It was the first time someone did something like this for him. Well, someone who knew him well.

“It’s just friendship chocolate, I did it last year too,” she replied. “Though you missed out on that… Well, now Ren-senpai isn’t here and misses out.” 

“Oh. Ren…” Whatever he wanted to say, he stopped immediately. “Well. Thank you. I might not sound too enthusiastic, but I appreciate it.” 

“I know. And I expect a gift in return on White Day,” Yoshizawa said. “Poor Ren-senpai though, he’s probably really lonely out there. No date, and nobody to keep him company.” 

Of course. She had an ulterior motive. 

“What’s your point, Yoshizawa-san?” 

“You probably wish you could be with him, right? Not here with me. It’s a lovers’ holiday after all,” she laughed, and he could feel himself turning red. 

“We’re not-” 

“I think you should go to him, senpai.” 

“What are you talking about?! It’s not even weekend, and he lives about three hours away from here by train! It’s not like I can just go there, without talking to him about it first, and-” 

“Why not?” Yoshizawa asked, not even batting an eye. “Skipping a day never killed anyone. Just make it a surprise visit.” 

“It’s not that easy, how would I even explain it-” 

“Would you even have to explain it?” She continued. “I think he’d be happy to see you after such a long time.” 

“But-” 

“You can get mad at me for calling you out like this, but… The only thing holding you back now is you,” the girl said firmly, with almost terrifying honesty. “Don’t wait until you both get old, someone might snatch him away from you.” 

“You mean… you?” He muttered, trying not to sound jealous or bitter, but maybe failing a little. He didn’t hold it against her, no. He actually liked her, and nobody could really be blamed for falling in love with Ren, it was actually pretty easy to do... when he finally let himself do that. 

“No, no, not me,” Yoshizawa let out a little giggle, waving her hand in amusement. “I was already rejected.” 

“What?” 

“A year ago. Ren-senpai turned me down, because he was in love with someone else. I think he’s most likely still in love with that person,” she said. "And that this person is probably in love with him too, as far as I can tell." 

“Why am I even talking to you about this,” Goro sighed, covering his face with one hand. This was exhausting, especially right in the morning. 

“I have good intentions. I just think you should live more freely. Since that’s what you are now. Free. Stop making yourself lonely,” Yoshizawa stated. “Oh, that’s my train, I’ll be going now. Happy Valentine’s day, senpai, and please, think about what I said.” 

Normally he’d refuse to think about it even harder and try to push it away again, but something… something about what this girl said actually got through to him. 

Was he… really free? After all this time, was actually free, not only in the most obvious way, but free to feel whatever he wanted and act on his feelings? 

Was he free to love someone without thinking that surely something horrible had to happen to them, or he himself would cause that terrible thing? 

Was he actually trapping himself this entire time, when he had to do was push the door of that prison open, and something really good would be waiting for him?

He always had to keep Ren at distance for one reason or another, didn’t he? It applied to everyone in general, but Ren especially. Because Ren was too smart, and it could ruin Goro. Because Ren was too good, and that could ruin both of them. Because no matter how much they wanted to be together, there was always something pulling their strings. 

That’s why, even now, though there was nothing holding them back anymore, they were dancing around this topic as if getting too close would burn them, and they’d have to pay the price again. 

That was it, wasn’t it? 

It was never going to get easier if they didn’t force themselves to put this behind, huh.

For a really long moment he was just standing there, staring at the box of chocolates in his hand. His train arrived, then left without him. 

Goro took a deep sigh, then put the box in his pocket and turned around to leave.  Maybe he was going crazy, but this one time… he decided to follow his heart. Maybe he was going to regret it, maybe not, he was going to find out soon.

Pulling out his phone, he picked Sakamoto’s number, internally begging him to answer. 

“Akechi? What’s up?” He sounded surprised, and Goro couldn’t blame him. It’s not like he called him often. 

“I don’t have the time to explain, but if you help me out I’m going to treat you to ramen during the weekend, I swear,” Goro replied. “You know where Ren lives, right? Give me his address.” 

“Huh? That sounds dope, but what do you need his address fo-” 

“No ulterior motives. Just give it to me, please,” he said. He had to find the right train and buy a ticket before his brain realized that it was a terrible idea. 

“Uhm, sure, I guess? I’ll text it to you, I don’t think Ren would mind.” Sakamoto sounded as if he simply shrugged. “We’ll talk about this ramen invitation later.”

“Of course, and thank you.” Goro breathed out in relief. “I’ll message you when I have the time.” 

“Sure, dude. It’s actually nice to know you’re willing to hang out, even if it’s in exchange for something. Good luck, whatever you’re planning. I won’t tell Ren.” 

“You better not,” he laughed into the speaker. If Sakamoto even tried, he’d find a way to get back at him. “Thanks. See you soon.” 

First Takamaki, then Yoshizawa and Sakamoto. They were all… so kind to him. Whether it was because they actually found him likeable, or were doing it just because they thought that since he was important to Ren, he was worth giving a chance… maybe it didn’t matter, and it would all solve itself at some point. But he needed to make the effort, too. 

The only train that would take him to Ren’s hometown was two hours from now. Goro bought the ticket anyway. He just waited patiently on the station, knowing that if he went home now he’d probably back out and not go with this plan after all. 

_Plan_. As if any of this was planned. Even when sitting on the train and playing with his phone, nothing about this felt real. 

Maybe he really was going mad. 

*** 

Goro spent almost his whole life in Tokyo. Maybe Ren was right to call this experience ‘cultural shock’... The first sign of that was the station he arrived at being way smaller, and looking way older. He really should had planned this ahead… Finding himself in a completely unknown place, with no connections and absolutely no information… He felt pretty lost. 

Well, it’s not like he had to hurry. Ren was probably still at school anyway, he could take his time to figure this out. He should check the map, there should probably also be a bus that would take him closer to his destination… But Ren already said he didn’t have the luxury of public transports running every few minutes... 

This was a disaster. He was already having regrets. 

Using a map, he managed to find a bus stop, and then embarrassed himself by attempting to explain where he was trying to get without knowing at which stop he should get off. It was a good thing nobody knew him here, and was probably never going to know. Well, he most likely wasn’t going to come back to this town ever again. It’s just this time. 

He got off at the stop he was shown, but it still seemed like a great deal of walking. He was beginning to curse himself for actually listening to Yoshizawa, stopping for a moment to check if he was even still on the right path. If he continued like this, he wouldn’t have to worry about Ren still being at school when he reached his place. 

_ What am I even going to tell him?  _ He thought, looking up, at the clear sky. It was actually a rather pretty day, and would probably be a pretty night. 

Maybe he could just tell Ren he wanted to see the stars with him. 

“No, that’s way too cheesy,” he muttered to himself. He didn't even have a morning coffee today, maybe he actually wasn't awake yet. The map showed there was supposed to be a cafe nearby, and he still had time to kill.

He decided to make a stop here. 

It turned out to be a small place, nothing as nice as Leblanc, but quite cozy when compared to all the chain cafes, with shitty coffee that barely even tasted like coffee. Maybe this would be better. 

"Sorry for the wait, here's your order!" The barista said, putting the cup in front of him. "I'm sorry if I sound nosy, but… I haven't seen you around before. New in town?'

"Oh, no, I'm just visiting someone," he replied with a half-truth. 

"Ah, right, it's a special day. Your date?" 

"No, not exactly…" Well, the girl was beginning to sound nosy. He shouldn’t go along with it. It wasn’t an interview, and didn’t have any obligation to answer questions. “I’m sorry, but…” 

“Ah, that was rude of me, I’m sorry! We just don’t see new faces around here very often,” she said apologetically. “Good luck with your date.” 

“It’s not-!” 

“You look very nervous, so I figured I was right,” the girl laughed. “Want a free refill later to calm your nerves?” 

“H-Huh?” 

“Just be confident and don’t overthink, it’s gonna be alright.” She smiled at him before going back to her work, leaving him dumbfounded. 

Maybe… Goro really was overthinking. He took a sip of his drink. It was good, but… nowhere near as good as Ren’s coffee. He decided not to accept the refill. Maybe he could convince Ren to make some for him… if he was lucky enough. He still thanked the girl before leaving though. 

He was supposed to just follow his heart today, right? No more hesitating. 

With the cold February wind hitting his face and a map in his hand, Goro began to search for the right place once again. 

*** 

_ This asshole never really told me what kind of house his place is.  _

This was Goro’s first thought upon finally finding it. He had to make sure of it several times, as it was hard to believe that the guy who spent a year living in the attic was… actually a kid from a rich family. 

But ironically, that only strengthened his impression that this place wasn’t good for Ren. Did his parent even care? How lonely was he here if he would prefer to stay in the dirty attic instead of coming back here, if he had a choice? 

Nobody seemed to be home yet, but maybe that’s better. The only person he was here for was Ren, not his family. He could wait. He took so long to get here in the first place that he probably wouldn’t have to wait long. 

_ Don’t think about it too hard, just wait. You’ll cross that bridge when you get to it,  _ he thought while sitting at the bottom of the stairs leading to the entrance door.  _ You wanted to see him, and that’s what you’re going to get.  _

He felt so out of his element.

Tuning out his annoying thoughts was much harder to do than he thought, and all he had with him was his bag and his phone. In the end, mindlessly scrolling through social media and messaging Sakamoto was all he could make himself do. He was almost beginning to doze off when he heard a familiar voice.

“Come on, you could’ve at least accepted the gift! You made that girl sad!” Morgana complained, and Goro felt like he knew exactly what the cat was talking about. 

“That wasn’t friendship chocolate, Morgana,” Ren replied calmly. “Can’t give her false hope. I’ll get myself a gift tomorrow.”

He turned someone down. On Valentine’s Day. Goro almost wanted to laugh. How could he be so sure he wouldn’t get turned down either? He didn’t really come here to confess, so maybe he at least wouldn’t be told to just go home. Well, Ren did say he was invited… 

Goro stood up, mentally preparing himself for this meeting. He didn’t really have any idea what to expect. Well, he rarely had any when it came to Ren, but it was alright. It’s why he came to find him interesting in the first place. It’s how he got the chance to come to love him. 

“Well, it’s not like anyone else here would give you-” 

Morgana stopped mid-sentence. Actually, Goro had the impression that everything just stopped for a moment the second Ren noticed him and their eyes met. 

The silence was almost deafening. He really should’ve thought about what to say. 

“I’ll leave you two alone,” Morgana said quietly, as if reading the mood and not wanting to disturb them, and then jumped out of Ren’s bag, quickly disappearing somewhere. 

The silence lasted for a moment longer and they still hadn’t broken the eye contact. Then… Ren smiled in a very unsure way. 

“This… isn’t a dream, right?” The boy asked, and Goro felt his heart sink. He hesitated only for a moment.

“Of course it’s not, idiot,” he replied. “Just come here.” 

If their first reaction seemed to drag out forever, now everything happened fast. Ren simply dropped his bag to the ground and the next moment they had their arms wrapped tightly around each other, as if they couldn’t stand being apart even a second longer. Maybe that’s what it really was, Goro thought, letting out a surprised noise when Ren lifted him a little and spun them around. 

“We r-really could’ve done without this!” He exclaimed, clinging to Ren so they wouldn’t lose their balance. 

“Sorry,” Ren laughed, squeezing him even more tightly. “I had to confirm it’s really you. I’m so happy.” 

He put him back on the ground, but didn’t let go, instead burying his face in Goro’s shoulder. Only now he was beginning to understand just how close they were, and how he felt sort of awkward now, but he didn’t want to pull away. It was okay. Somehow managing to pull off his gloves and drop them to the ground, he returned the embrace, sneaking one way into Ren’s hair, receiving a pleased hum. 

"You really came here," he mumbled into the fabric of Goro's clothes. "For me."

"No shit," Goro laughed. "I definitely wouldn't come such a long way for Morgana."

"Why didn't you tell me? I'd skip school. We could have more time together."

"It wasn't really planned. I just… did it on a whim." 

"You? On a whim?" Ren let out a laugh, pulling away a little to be able to look at him. "What happened to you? Did they replace you with a lookalike?"

"Shut up, I'm capable of spontaneous actions too," Goro grumbled, this time hiding his face in Ren's neck. 

"Of course. I just didn't expect you to drop everything and come to meet me on Valentine's Day," he replied, and Goro felt him rest his cheek against his head. Of course he would tease him about it. Of course. “I’m really happy. There’s nobody I’d rather spend this day with other than you.”

Whatever smart response Goro could’ve come up with, it was no longer possible to form. He always managed to say something that’d send Goro’s thoughts into a total chaos. 

He was beginning to think that was the point though. If he momentarily couldn’t be eloquent, maybe he just needed to be honest. 

“Me too. I wanted to see you today,” he muttered, running his fingers through the unruly hair. “I’m glad I did it.” 

Ren pulled away once again, and for a second Goro was worried he said too much, but the other boy’s expression told him otherwise. One of his hands traveled to Goro’s face to caress it gently while still looking at him as he would at something precious. 

Maybe this would be a good moment for a kiss, if they were actually dating, but they weren’t, so they just stood there, staring at each other, with Goro feeling as if his knees were about to betray him. Well, it’s not like Ren would let him fall anyway. 

“So, did you bring me a gift?” He asked, smiling at him softly. 

“I already told you it wasn’t a planned trip. I didn’t bring you anything.” Goro let out a laugh, leaning into his touch. “Though I was offered some friendship chocolate by Yoshizawa-san. We could share, if it hasn’t melted in my pocket yet.” 

“Ah? What a shame it wasn’t you who made it, that could be interesting.” Ren laughed as well. “It’s fine though. You’re my best present.” 

“Does everything you say have to be so goddamn cheesy!?” Goro asked, barely stopping himself from looking away but clearly blushing. Apparently Ren found it really amusing. 

"Sorry. I'm under the impression that you like hearing these things though. And I mean them," he said, rubbing his thumb against Goro's cheek. "You're cold. How long have you been outside?" 

"Too long, I think."

For a moment Ren just stared at him, with that soft look on his face, as if thinking. 

"Let's go grab something to eat. You probably haven't eaten the whole day," he said in the end. "And I haven't had dinner yet either, so it's perfect." 

He didn’t say anything about his parents. 

Goro didn’t ask. He felt like there was no need to. 

This day was supposed to be just for the two of them anyway. Their time alone. 

*** 

Ren took him to the nearby shopping center. They got burgers.  _ There’s not many places I could take you to around here,  _ Ren explained, looking very embarrassed, but Goro found himself not really caring about that. Maybe it wasn’t exactly a romantic dinner, but that wasn’t what he came there for anyway. They were probably a strange sight, two teenage boys together on Valentine’s Day, eating junk food in a mall, but there was some magic in this simplicity. 

When they left that place, it was already getting dark. Goro realized he didn’t even know if he had a train home now, but he didn’t want to worry about it. Not when Ren just took his hand and twined their fingers together, pulling him along somewhere. 

And Goro let him. In the dark, in a city unknown to him, he let the only person he’d ever trusted this much lead him by the hand.

After a while, they found themselves on the road alongside the river banks. They didn’t really talk, just walked together in silence, holding hands as if it was the natural thing to do. Funny how Goro’s hands remained hidden under the gloves for most of time, but with Ren he didn’t feel the need to cover them. The feeling of bare skin against bare skin was… pleasant. More than that, actually, but Goro was never great at giving names to his feelings. 

Squeezing Ren’s hand a little, he looked up. He was right earlier, the night sky was so pretty. 

“Much better than in the city, right?” Ren asked, reading him perfectly once more. “Though that’s the only benefit of living here.” 

“Well, that’s at least something,” he laughed a little. “No other source of entertainment? Really?” 

“You have to get creative for that.” the other boy grinned. “Hey, do you see the stairs leading down, over there?” 

“I do, but… What are you planning?” 

“Let’s race there,” Ren said casually. “That’s the kind of entertainment you get here.” 

“Are you serious?” Goro asked, frowning a little. 

“Totally.” He nodded, giving his hand a light squeeze before letting go. “You’re not going to run from a challenge, right?” 

Smirking at him, Goro looked back toward the goal line.

“Of course not.” 

Not even waiting for any signal, he started running. 

“Hey, that’s cheating!” Ren called out, instantly following him, but Goro already had the advantage, and the distance between the start and the goal wasn’t even big. There was no way Ren could catch up to him. 

Except, he forgot that they didn’t really agree on a goal. He thought it was just reaching the stairs, but while he himself stopped, Ren just sprinted down them. 

“Now you’re cheating!” He exclaimed, throwing himself after him, but now it was Goro who was too late. As his last attempt to win, he reached out and grabbed Ren’s hand, which only resulted in him turning around and laughing while stumbling into Goro’s arms again, almost sending them to the ground. 

“Guess we’re both cheating a little. Next time, we should play fair,” Ren said, hugging him tightly before pulling away and taking a few steps towards the river edge. Picking a large rock rock, he sat down and for a moment, the only sound they could hear was the flowing water. Not thinking about it too hard, Goro took a seat next to him. 

It took them another moment to break the silence.

“You know… I hate being stuck here,” Ren started quietly, his voice strained. “I hated having to come back here. People are still giving me weird looks wherever I go, and whatever friends I had here before, nobody cares now. It’s kind of humiliating. And lonely. Even my parents don’t treat me the same way anymore, like I’ve turned into a stranger.” 

Goro wasn’t really sure how to respond, but he expected Ren still wasn’t done. So he just let him talk. The two of them were the same, deep down. Making them talk about themselves was like a miracle, so this… meant a lot. 

It meant Ren trusted him.

“You know we don’t really use the groupchat all that often, you’re in there too,” he continued. “And I don’t talk to the others as often as you could expect. Somehow... I never find the right words to say when we call. It just turns into me listening again, but… that’s how it’s always been.” 

He let out a somewhat bitter laughter, but then, he turned to Goro, and his expression softened yet again. 

“But you. You always listen to me, no matter how stupid what I say is, and for some reason, with you, I can actually do that. It feels… It feels like you understand," he said, smiling in a way that made Goro's face feel hot. "You're special, Goro. That's why I'm so happy to have you here, even if only for a day." 

_ You’re special. _

That’s what he always wanted to be. He wished to be wanted in someone’s life, for someone,  _ anyone,  _ to accept him for who he was. 

Was is really this simple? Was that  _ someone  _ really right in front of him? Could he give into this?

“I… really thought nothing good was ever going to happen to me, ever,” he said after a moment, his own voice even quieter than Ren’s. “My childhood, then Shido and Yaldabaoth… but I also met you. That might’ve been another level of misfortune altogether though.” 

Now it was Ren who just let him talk. It was probably easy to guess he wasn’t done yet. 

“Isn’t it funny how we were never supposed to get along in the first place? We were supposed to hate each other and fight to death. And I almost… I almost followed this plan without even knowing it existed.” He laughed, but it sounded bitter even to himself. “And even then, it still wasn’t over. It really felt like being told I’m just meant to suffer and never know what it’s like to be happy.” 

“That’s not...” Ren’s eyes widened as he listened to him. Goro knew what he wanted to say, and knew that he was right. It didn’t feel like that now.

“It doesn’t matter anymore. None of that does,” he replied. “Because I know I can still make something of this life, and I don’t really need that much to be happy. I don’t need the world, just… something simpler. And I promise to make things right this time.” 

He hoped his hand wasn’t trembling too badly when he reached for Ren’s, but even if it did, the other boy didn’t point it out, just held it back, staring at him with wide eyes, as if he didn’t understand anything. Or didn’t believe what he just heard. 

“I’m glad I met you,” Goro said, giving him something between a smile and a smirk and watching the confusion melt into a flustered expression. “And coming here today was my step towards learning how to show that.” 

Ren simply covered his face with his free hand, making Goro laugh. He probably had never seen him looking this flustered before, but with how amusing it was, he should probably try again sometime. 

“You outdid me once again,” he muttered through his fingers. 

“Was this supposed to be a competition?” 

“I just wanted to say something sappy on this special day, but you went all out. You took me off guard.” 

“Wha-” Goro uttered. “This wasn’t my intention!” 

“But it already happened,” Ren replied with a shaky laugh, then stood up from his rock, pulling Goro along. “I’ll have to do better than that. Hey, dance with me.” 

“What?!” 

“Just what I said, dance with me. Let’s make it at least a little romantic,” he said, guiding Goro’s hands to place them on his waist. “I can’t actually dance though. You’ll have to lead me.” 

“Then why did you even ask me…?” 

“Because I wanted to do this,” Ren hummed, sneaking his arms around Goro’s neck, one hand resting there and diving under his scarf to rub gentle circles against his skin, bringing them even closer together. “Please?” 

Saying ‘no’ to those eyes was always hard. The way Ren looked at him always felt like he was reaching deep inside his soul... Taking a deep breath, he moved his hands to hold Ren more confidently. 

“We don’t even have any music,” he muttered. They were so close that when Ren laughed he could not as much hear it, but  _ feel  _ it. It was doing funny things to him. 

“I’d ask you to sing for me, but that’s probably too much.” Ren reached into his pocket, pulling out his phone and earbuds, then putting one in Goro’s ear without even asking. “Let’s see…” 

A few seconds later, a familiar melody began, and he couldn’t even get irritated about Ren doing whatever he pleased. 

_ People come and they go… Some people may stay with you though… _

“You-” Goro stuttered for a moment, watching a smirk creep onto Ren’s face. “You remembered? This whole time?” 

“I actually bought the whole album a few days after you took me to that club,” he replied with a grin, taking the other earbud for himself. “Reminded me of you. We should go back there sometime.” 

Goro would comment on it some other time. Tease him for being sentimental, maybe. 

But now he just rested his forehead against Ren’s shoulder, wrapping his arms around him. 

“You okay?” Ren asked, returning the embrace.

“It’s cold. You’re warm.” 

“I see. We’ve been outside for too long,” he said softly, petting Goro’s hair. “Maybe we should go home instead.” 

“Home?” He muttered, squeezing him more tightly, recalling the earlier forgotten issue with trains, the fact that he didn’t really have a place to stay at here, and that he didn’t really want to go back to Tokyo yet, to his apartment that wasn’t really home, because it was just as empty and lonely as always. 

But Ren just told him he hated having to come back here. That this place wasn’t home for him either, and that staying here was a pain. 

Where was this home, then?

“Mhm. Stay with me tonight. We’ll make up some excuse about why you’re staying. Aren’t you good at bullshitting?” Ren replied, pressing a kiss to the side of his head.

_ Stay with me.  _

Maybe that’s what it meant. Maybe it wasn’t about the place. He had a lot to learn in this respect, but… Ren was probably the same. They could learn together. If they came this far, from literal hell to these peaceful moments, building what they had from scratch, then things could only get better, right? 

Goro thought that even if everything else still sucked, even if he never stopped being bitter towards the world… in this moment, under the starry sky, in Ren’s arms… life seemed beautiful. 

“Alright. I’m taking your bed though. And don’t blame me if your parents get any wrong ideas,” he said with a laugh, not actually caring what ideas Ren’s parents could get. Maybe he even wanted them to think  _ something _ , a spiteful part of him wanting to tell off anyone who didn’t appreciate Ren enough. 

“We can fit on the bed together, if we tell Morgana to sleep somewhere else. And who said those ideas would be wrong?” Ren hummed quietly. “I don’t care about it either way.”

This could mean a lot of things, and not a lot of them were positive, but… even if tomorrow he had to go back to Tokyo, it wasn’t long before Ren was supposed to come there for good too. And if he himself decided not to look back, Goro thought he’d be alright with that, too. He wasn’t leaving him behind this time, nor he was the one being left behind. 

This time, they had all the time in the world.

“Well, I still need a place to stay tonight, better not to piss them off,” he laughed, untangling himself from Ren’s embrace and pulling him towards the stairs. “But the day you’re supposed to leave this town… I can come to pick you up and we’ll see what can be done.” 

“Oh, I like this tone. Show them, mister detective,” Ren said, following him now.

“If I actually do, you might not have anything to return to here, ever.”

“I think it’d be worth it, to be honest. Do you remember the way back?” 

“No. But I’ll find it somehow. We didn’t wander off too far.” 

“Mhm. I’ll leave myself in your care then. Goro?”

“Hmm?”

For a moment, he looked as if he was fighting against himself, wanting to say something, but not being sure if he should. In the end, he looked away. 

Goro had a feeling he knew what it was, but wasn’t sure if he was ready to hear that.

“If not now, there will be another chance,” he repeated what Takamaki had told him, making Ren’s eyes widen. “Let’s take our time.” 

The nod he received as a response was all he needed. He let Ren catch up to him, instead of just pulling him along, because maybe neither of them needed to lead the other in the dark and they could just walk together, and maybe he just really didn’t know where he was going and needed some help. 

In the end, only time could show.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here it is, the spoilery version!

“...and that’s why I think one of the students that are failing is the culprit, and the other cases are just to mislead the investigation,” Ren said from the other side of the call. “I probably shouldn’t get involved, but this place is so boring without you.” 

Goro was sort of glad Ren couldn’t see the dumb smile his words made appear on his face. 

“You graduate soon enough. You can lay low until then, don’t you?” 

“Technically I can, but imagine the emotional toll of leaving this case unsolved,” he replied, his voice unnecessarily dramatic. “I’m just curious.”

“If I was there, I wouldn’t be telling you to do that, trust me,” Goro said. “It’s amusing to hear you so invested in some country trouble. You really must be suffering out there… If it was at least a murder case-” 

“We don’t really get those here too often, mister detective. And I feel like the last time I saw any civilization was in summer,” Ren sighed. “I miss having trains running every few minutes.”

“One could say that living in the city for a year got to your head.” He couldn’t muffle the snort of a laughter that escaped him.

“Goro, I kid you not, to get out of here I’d have to wait for hours. It’s like a different dimension," the other boy complained. "Actually, you should visit me at least once before I come back to Tokyo."

"Huh? What for?” Goro frowned at the suggestion. They talked a lot, but this wasn’t something that ever came up. 

“To experience cultural shock.” 

“Who do you take me for?!” 

“A city kid,” Ren said. “By the way. It’s Valentine’s Day in two weeks. Are you spending it with anyone?” 

Maybe going out to the balcony to stand there while talking to Ren wasn’t a good idea. The moment he asked that question Goro almost dropped his phone. He also didn’t hesitate to tell Ren about it. 

“What the hell are you thinking, asking me something like this?! I almost dropped my phone off the balcony!” 

“Sorry- Wait, did you say balcony? Goro, it’s February, why are you standing outside?” Ren asked, and he could almost see his face scrunched up in confusion. 

“The sky looks nice from here sometimes,” he replied simply, looking up at the stars adorning the night sky. He actually liked just watching them. 

No matter how much time passed or what happened, the sky remained the same. If Ren looked out of the window now, he’d see the same sky, too. It was sort of comforting, even though he’d never admit something so sentimental out loud…. He couldn’t even tell when he started thinking things like that. Maybe Ren’s sentimental side was rubbing off on him. 

“Okay, that’s… a fair argument,” Ren said with a hum. “I’m sitting by the window and I forgot that in Tokyo you don’t really get a nice view just by looking out. You really should come here and see.” 

_ Looking at the same sky, huh.  _ It’s not like Ren could’ve known his thoughts, he had no reason to feel this embarrassed, but for some reason he did. 

Admitting his own feelings was a terribly tiring and embarrassing experience, even if just to himself. Did everyone feel like that, or was it just him, because of how messed up his road to get there was? 

“Hey, you changed the topic though.”

“I didn’t. I only told you that your idiotic question almost ended this conversation,” he replied, not really getting where it was going anyway.

“Don’t be a coward, answer it.” 

“Don’t push your luck, Ren.” 

“Or what, you’ll hang up on me? I just asked if you have a date,” Ren said with a laugh, and suddenly his embarrassment mattered so little, because Ren laughed so rarely, and Goro found it so satisfying to be the reason for his laughter. 

“I don’t think there’s anyone around who’s worth my time on such a special day,” he finally replied, not knowing what was stronger in this sentence, the sarcasm, or the emphasis on  _ around.  _ “And you?” 

“Pretty much same. Just like last year, I suppose.” 

Did Goro breathe out in relief upon hearing that? Maybe he did. 

“Ah, so you asked me about it because you didn’t want to feel like a loser?” 

“No, I could totally get a date if I wanted. You too, probably, you’re attractive after all.” Ren stated, as if he was talking about the weather. Goro felt a sudden urge to hang up, just because he didn’t know how to react to it. “And yet, we’re both single. A weird kind of solidarity, huh?” 

_ There’s literally no one I’d choose over you. _

That’s not something he could say. He really couldn’t force himself to do so yet. 

“You’re being dramatic. It’s just a day like any other day,” he said instead. 

“To you,” Ren replied. “I’m going to buy tons of discounted chocolate the next day, and then eat it in front of Morgana, who can’t touch it, because cats can’t eat chocolate.” 

Goro thought that he’d never loved someone as much as he loved Ren. 

“Go ahead and make yourself sick,” he laughed, imagining Ren spitefully eating the ton of chocolate. It looked like a very dumb scene, especially since Goro knew he didn’t even like sweets that much.

“You’re underestimating me. I won the Big Bang Burger challenge several times.” 

“That’s because you have no sense of self-preservation,” Goro said.

“Look who’s talking!” 

They could tease each other like this, but in the end, neither of them was better than the other. Goro understood it at some point. They were better at taking care of each other than of their own person. It seemed like an insane thought, but actually… it was the truth. 

“I’m doing perfectly fine,” Goro muttered, embarrassed by his thoughts. Oh, how he wished this was easier. “Also, it’s strange that I still haven’t heard Morgana reminding you that he’s not a cat.”

“He’s not here,” Ren replied, going along with the change of topic. “He claims it’s boring to listen to us go on about everything and nothing for hours, so he went for a walk.” 

“W-Wha- Did you just say hours?” He moved the phone away from his ear to check the time. “Shit, it’s past midnight…” 

“So?” 

“So? Go to sleep, idiot. Wasn’t Morgana the one taking care of your sleep schedule?”

“Maybe he hoped you’d be responsible enough to do it instead.” 

“I am, now. Go to sleep.”

“Alright, alright,” Ren said with a laugh. “Goodnight, Goro. Talk to you soon?” 

His voice was so light and soft that Goro couldn’t help but smile to himself. He doubted Ren knew it, but he’d often use this tone when talking to him. It was endearing. Comforting. 

Made him feel wanted. 

“Sure. Goodnight, Ren.” 

Maybe one day he’d get to say it not over the phone.

*** 

Goro really thought Valentine’s Day was going to be just a day like any other, but sadly, he was forced to realize something had changed. When he was still famous, it was just an occasion to get some free sweets and then hide from his fangirls. Last year… well, things were complicated. He didn’t like to think about it. This year? As much as he didn’t want to admit it, it could only be described as… 

Yearning. 

_ So embarrassing,  _ he thought as the next day, he stared at the cheesily decorated shop window of a store in the underground mall, one that announced incoming Valentine’s Day products.. He didn’t have any shopping to do, he was just killing time before his train home and for some reason, he ended up here.

It’s not like he could just buy something and hand it to Ren. He wasn’t even there anyway. This was pointless. 

He wouldn’t even buy anything for him in the first place. They weren’t dating. Not yet, maybe not ever. 

“Se~npai!” A familiar voice interrupted his embarrassing thoughts, bringing him back to reality. Turning around, he was greeted with the sight of a red-haired girl smiling at him, with two others trailing behind her, all wearing Shujin uniforms. 

“Ah, it’s you,” he muttered.

“What is this supposed to mean? We haven’t seen each other in a while,” Yoshizawa said with a slight pout. Goro felt a little guilty, it was like kicking a puppy. 

“Sorry,” he replied, giving her an apologetic smile. “I didn’t really expect to see you here.” 

“We’re going to the movies,” Takamaki explained, coming closer. “Wanna join us, Akechi-kun?” 

Goro glanced at Futaba, staying a little behind Takamaki. Their eyes met for a moment and the girl nodded, as if telling him it was fine… 

“I think I’m going to pass,” he muttered. “I have some college work to do. Maybe next time.” 

“Sure, but next time you’re not allowed to reject the invitation,” Takamaki said cheerfully. 

“By the way, senpai, what were you doing here? This store… Oh!” Yoshizawa’s eyes widened, as if she realized something. “Getting ready for Valentine’s Day?” 

“Don’t be ridiculous,” Goro snorted at the question. “You probably know this, but the next day after this stupid holiday, all this chocolate is going to be on sale. Most likely because the sellers want to take advantage of those who are lonely or heartbroken… I was just wondering how much I can spend on discounted chocolate.” 

“That’s an awfully pessimistic view…” Futaba mumbled. 

“I am anything but optimistic,” he replied, smiling widely. Yoshizawa even laughed. She probably understood his sense of humor the best out of these three. 

“Lonely or heartbroken… Wait, does that include you as well?” Takamaki asked, this time catching him off guard. 

“Huh?” 

“Is everything okay between you and Ren?” She asked another question, confusing him even more.

_ Huh? _

“Huh?!” Goro let out another unidentified sound, feeling his face heat up. What was this supposed to mean?!

“Ren wouldn’t break his heart just before Valentine’s Day…” Futaba said. “They’re probably still pining.” 

“W-What are you talking about?” He forced out, and all the girls exchanged amused glances. 

“Well, it’s probably not something we should get involved in,” Yoshizawa began, “but it’s not hard to see you two like each other. Good luck, senpai.” 

“We should get going, actually, if we don’t wanna be late,” Futaba said, checking the time on her phone. “You sure you don’t wanna come with us, lonely guy?” 

“I’d appreciate if you didn’t call me that, and I already said I don’t have the time,” he replied, already feeling a headache incoming. He didn’t really like being teased. Maybe with the exception of Ren, but that’s… 

“Whatever, then.” Futaba just shrugged. “You’re missing out on the new Featherman movie. Let’s go, Sumire.” 

“You two can go ahead, I’ll catch up to you,” Takamaki said, and the two younger girls nodded, leaving them behind. Then she turned to Goro again. “You know, if you need any advice on how to handle things with Ren, I’m here to help. I know you two know each other the best, but sometimes you can be a little…” 

“Unpleasant?” 

“No, I like you the way you are. It’s refreshing. What I wanted to say is... a little emotionally dense,” she laughed.

“...are you trying to play my therapist now?” 

“No, I don’t think I’d take that job even if I was educated for that.” Takamaki gave him a sympathetic glance. “But I do want to offer my help when I can. That’s what friends are for.” 

_ Friends.  _ Was that what they were? Takamaki was a nice girl, brave, hardworking and with a strong will. He had a lot of respect for her, even if she was too naive sometimes. But friends…?

His hesitation must’ve shown on his face, since Takamaki just smiled at him. 

“Take your time, Akechi-kun. If you ever need me, you have my number. And good luck with Ren! If not now, there’s going to be a lot of other chances.” 

With that, she was gone, leaving him even more embarrassed than he previously was. 

Feelings… even positive, were a lot harder to process than they should be.

*** 

A few days later, he was woken up by the sound of incoming messages. He was a light sleeper, so the short notification sounds were enough to interrupt his sleep… besides, there was only one person who’d text him at this ungodly hour. 

One message, two messages, three messages. After the third one, he groaned and reached for his phone. 

**Ren:** are you already asleep? 

**Ren:** you probably are. dumb question

**Ren:** sorry. 

Goro glanced at the time. 2am. Normally, he’d expect Ren to be asleep at this hour, Morgana would make sure of that. Something was off about this. With a sigh, he managed to form a reply anyway. 

**Me:** If you don’t want me to wake Morgana up, you should probably leave your room. 

He waited approximately… thirty seconds before pressing the dial button. If Ren didn’t understand the warning, it was his problem. 

“I was in the bathroom anyway,” Ren muttered as a greeting. 

“Got bored on a night bathroom trip?” He teased, but already felt like this was heading towards a more serious conversation. 

“Not really. Did I wake you up? Sorry,” the other boy said, and it wasn’t hard to notice he seemed pretty out of it. 

“Ren. What’s wrong?” Goro asked firmly. He knew that if he didn’t sound confident now, Ren would just laugh it off.

After a moment of silence, he replied. 

“...nothing, really. I just can’t sleep.” 

“And that’s because of…?”

“Do you remember what day it is?”

He didn’t. He was woken up in the middle of the night and didn’t really register much of what was happening around him. Yesterday he spent most of time studying, to distract himself from some persistent feeling of anxiety at the back of his mind. Then, he went to sleep early and now, he was lying in his bed, talking to someone who was being rather cryptic about why he wasn’t asleep at this hour. 

“February the third,” Ren answered the question before Goro even said anything. “Sorry, I… didn’t really have an easy day. And now this happens. You probably have better things to do than dealing with me.” 

Goro froze for a solid moment. He completely forgot about what happened today, a year ago. Well, forgot wasn’t the right word… He was just good at pushing things that hurt him to the bottom of his memory, so they wouldn’t resurface easily. 

The beginning of February from a year ago was one of those things. 

“It’s alright,” he said, hearing his voice soften. “Actually, I’m glad it’s me that you turned to.” 

“I don’t think there’s anyone else who needs to know about this. No one else lived though that, just us,” Ren mumbled in response. “I know everything is fine. I know you’re fine, we’re fine, but I…” 

“It’s really fine. I get it. It wasn’t an easy decision, but you made the right choice. And I’m still here, right? I’m here.” He didn’t really know how to comfort people, especially not over the phone. Back then, the only attempt he allowed himself was calling this world _their reality_ , hoping Ren would understand his intentions. 

But now, he wished he could do something more. He wished they weren’t a long train ride away from each other.

“You’re here,” Ren repeated, then, like always read his thoughts perfectly. “Damn, I wish ‘here’ didn’t mean Tokyo, but still… thank you.” 

“For what?” Goro muttered, frowning, even though Ren couldn’t see him. 

“For calling, even though I’m sure I woke you up. You sound all grumpy.” 

“You didn’t have to point that out,” he grumbled. 

“I think it’s cute,” Ren replied with a small laugh. “I’m glad I could hear your voice.” 

Embarrassing.  _ So embarrassing,  _ Goro thought, as he curled up in his bed, pressing his face into the pillow. 

“You should get some sleep. You have school tomorrow,” he forced himself to say. 

“Always so responsible,” Ren sighed. 

“Someone has to, if you’re not going to be the one.” 

“Sure, sure. Goro?” 

“Hmm?” 

“Can I call tomorrow?” 

_ Yes _ . 

“...if that’s what you want, I’m not going to stop you,” he said, cursing himself for never actually saying what he really meant.

“Then, tomorrow,” Ren replied though, his voice sounding much lighter now. “Have a good night, Goro.” 

“...you too.” 

Goro wasn’t actually sure if he was going to sleep now. Not when his cheeks were burning and his head was full of incoherent thoughts and repressed feelings. 

Feelings that during that very unfortunate January and beginning of February were eating him from the inside. 

_ I can’t accept this. _

_ Why? _

_ I can’t give him false hope. _

_ But it’s something I want, too.  _

_ I should stay away from him.  _

_ But he wants me. I’m here because he wants me.  _

_ That’s exactly why I can’t give him false hope!  _

… 

He always had to keep him at distance for one reason or another, didn’t he? It applied to everyone in general, but Ren especially. Because Ren was too smart, and it could ruin Goro. Then because Ren was too good, and that could ruin both of them. Because no matter how much they wanted to be together, there was always something pulling their strings. 

That’s why, even now, though there was nothing holding them back anymore, they were dancing around this topic as if getting too close would burn them, and they’d have to pay the price again. 

That was it, wasn’t it? 

It was never going to get easier if they didn’t force themselves to put this behind, huh.

Maybe Goro should be the one to make the first step. Maybe Ren was just waiting for him, because he’d always been a fucking idiot who kept pushing him away. And yet, he still wanted him. Goro wasn’t exactly sure why. 

Being with him was making him so happy though. And he knew Ren was happy, too. 

He was supposed to move back to Tokyo soon. Maybe then Goro would do something. 

Maybe. 

*** 

The next two weeks passed rather peacefully. He obviously didn’t contact Takamaki Ann to ask her for help, but he did text her to ask if she wanted to hang out. Even he could get lonely sometimes, and Takamaki was easier to be around than most of the people he knew. They got crepes and talked about some mundane things. It was a nicer experience than he expected and he probably should do it more often. 

Something about her reminded him of Ren. 

And so, that cursed day arrived.

“Se~npai!” 

“No.” 

“I didn’t even say anything yet!” Yoshizawa exclaimed, raising her hands defensively. “I just wanted to say hello, since I spotted you here, while we’re both waiting for our trains!”

“I know you well enough to know you’re scheming something,” Goro said, giving the girl a smirk. “What is it?” 

“Tehe, you saw right through me,” she giggled, reaching inside her school bag and pulling out a small, nicely wrapped box. “I made some for everyone, even though I wasn’t sure if you’d accept it.” 

With that, she handed it to him. 

“What is this supposed to be…” He asked with a frown, but taking it hesitantly. 

“It’s Valentine’s Day. Neither you, nor Ryuji-senpai or Yusuke-senpai have a date today, so I made you some treats so you wouldn’t feel as lonely. I’m glad I managed to run into you here,” Yoshizawa said cheerfully. “I can’t guarantee it tastes good though.” 

“Wait... Did you really just… for me?” Goro muttered, feeling a little lost. It was the first time someone did something like this for him. Well, someone who knew him well.

“It’s just friendship chocolate, I did it last year too,” she replied. “Though you weren’t here to get yours… Well, now Ren-senpai isn’t here and misses out.” 

“Oh. Ren…” Whatever he wanted to say, he stopped immediately. “Well. Thank you. I might not sound too enthusiastic, but I appreciate it.” 

“I know. And I expect a gift in return on White Day,” Yoshizawa said. “Poor Ren-senpai though, he’s probably really lonely out there. No date, and nobody to keep him company.” 

Of course. She had an ulterior motive. 

“What’s your point, Yoshizawa-san?” 

“You probably wish you could be with him, right? Not here with me. It’s a lovers’ holiday after all,” she laughed, and he could feel himself turning red. 

“We’re not-” 

“I think you should go to him, senpai.” 

“What are you talking about?! It’s not even weekend, and he lives about three hours away from here by train! It’s not like I can just go there, without talking to him about it first, and-” 

“Why not?” Yoshizawa asked, not even batting an eye. “Skipping a day never killed anyone. Just make it a surprise visit.” 

“It’s not that easy, how would I even explain it-” 

“Would you even have to explain it?” She continued. “I think he’d be happy to see you after such a long time.” 

“But-” 

“You can get mad at me for calling you out like this, but… The only thing holding you back now is you,” the girl said firmly, with almost terrifying honesty. “Don’t wait until you both get old, someone might snatch him away from you.” 

“You mean… you?” He muttered, trying not to sound jealous or bitter, but maybe failing a little. He didn’t hold it against her, no. He actually liked her, and nobody could really be blamed for falling in love with Ren, it was actually pretty easy to do... 

When he finally let himself do that. 

“No, no, not me,” Yoshizawa let out a little giggle, waving her hand in amusement. “I was already rejected.” 

“What?” 

“A year ago. Ren-senpai turned me down, because he was in love with someone else. I think he’s most likely still in love with that person,” she said. "And as far as I can tell, that person is in love with him, too." 

“Why am I even talking to you about this,” Goro sighed, covering his face with one hand. This was exhausting, especially right in the morning. 

“I have good intentions. I just think you should live more freely. Since that’s what you are now. Free. Stop making yourself lonely,” Yoshizawa stated. “Oh, that’s my train, I’ll be going now. Happy Valentine’s day, senpai, and please, think about what I said.” 

Normally he’d refuse to think about it even harder and try to push it away again, but something… something about what this girl said actually got through to him. 

Was he… really free? After all this time, was actually free, not only in the most obvious way, but free to feel whatever he wanted and act on his feelings? 

Was he free to love someone without thinking that surely something horrible had to happen to them, or he himself would cause that terrible thing? 

Was he actually trapping himself this entire time, when he had to do was push the door of that prison open, and something really good would be waiting for him?

For a really long moment he was just standing there, staring at the box of chocolates in his hand. His train arrived, then left without him. 

Goro took a deep sigh, then put the box in his pocket and turned around to leave.

Maybe he was going crazy, but this one time… he decided to follow his heart. Maybe he was going to regret it, maybe not, he was going to find out soon.

Pulling out his phone, he picked Sakamoto’s number, internally begging him to answer. 

“Akechi? What’s up?” He sounded surprised, and Goro couldn’t blame him. It’s not like he called him often. 

“I don’t have the time to explain, but if you help me out I’m going to treat you to ramen during the weekend, I swear,” Goro replied. “You know where Ren lives, right? Give me his address.” 

“Huh? That sounds dope, but what do you need his address fo-” 

“No ulterior motives. Just give it to me, please,” he said. He had to find the right train and buy a ticket before his brain realized that it was a terrible idea. 

“Uhm, sure, I guess? I’ll text it to you, I don’t think Ren would mind.” Sakamoto sounded as if he simply shrugged. “We’ll talk about this ramen invitation later.”

“Of course, and thank you.” Goro breathed out in relief. “I’ll message you later.” 

“Sure, dude. It’s actually nice to know you’re willing to hang out, even if it’s in exchange for something. Good luck, whatever you’re planning. I won’t tell Ren.” 

“You better not,” he laughed into the speaker. If Sakamoto even tried, he’d find a way to get back at him. “Thanks. See you soon.” 

First Takamaki, then Yoshizawa and Sakamoto. They were all… so kind to him. Whether it was because they actually found him likeable, or were doing it just because they thought that since he was important to Ren, he was worth giving a chance… maybe it didn’t matter, and it would all solve itself at some point. But he needed to make the effort, too. 

The only train that would take him to Ren’s hometown was two hours from now. Goro bought the ticket anyway. He just waited patiently on the station, knowing that if he went home now he’d probably back out and not go with this plan after all. 

“Plan”. As if any of this was planned. Even when sitting on the train and playing with his phone, nothing about this felt real. 

Maybe he really was going mad. 

*** 

Goro spent almost his whole life in Tokyo. Maybe Ren was right to call this experience ‘cultural shock’... The first sign of that was the station he arrived at being way smaller, and looking way older. He really should had planned this ahead… Finding himself in a completely unknown place, with no connections and absolutely no information… He felt pretty lost. 

Well, it’s not like he had to hurry. Ren was probably still at school anyway, he could take his time to figure this out. He should check the map, there should probably also be a bus that would take him closer to his destination… But Ren already said he didn’t have the luxury of public transports running every few minutes... 

This was a disaster. He was already having regrets. 

Using a map, he managed to find a bus stop, and then embarrassed himself by attempting to explain where he was trying to get without knowing at which stop he should get off. It was a good thing nobody knew him here, and was probably never going to know. Well, he most likely wasn’t going to come back to this town ever again. It’s just this time. 

He got off at the stop he was shown, but it still seemed like a great deal of walking. He was beginning to curse himself for actually listening to Yoshizawa, stopping for a moment to check if he was still on the right path. If he continued like this, he wouldn’t have to worry about Ren still being at school by the time he reached his place. 

_ What am I even going to tell him?  _ He thought, looking up, at the clear sky. It was actually a rather pretty day, and would probably be a pretty night. 

Maybe he could just tell Ren he wanted to see the stars with him. 

“No, that’s way too cheesy,” he muttered to himself. He didn't even have a morning coffee today, maybe he actually wasn't awake yet. The map showed there was supposed to be a cafe nearby, and he still had time to kill.

He decided to make a stop there. 

It turned out to be a small place, nothing as nice as Leblanc, but quite cozy when compared to all the chain cafes with shitty coffee that barely even tasted like coffee. Maybe this would be better. 

"Sorry for the wait, here's your order!" The barista said, putting the cup in front of him. "I'm sorry if I sound nosy, but… I haven't seen you around before. New in town?'

"Oh, no, I'm just visiting someone," he replied with a half-truth. 

"Ah, right, it's a special day. Your date?" 

"No, not exactly…" Well, the girl was beginning to sound nosy. He shouldn’t go along with it. It wasn’t an interview, and didn’t have any obligation to answer questions. “I’m sorry, but…” 

“Ah, that was rude of me, I’m sorry! We just don’t see new faces around here very often,” she said apologetically. “Good luck with your date.” 

“It’s not-!” 

“You look very nervous, so I figured I was right,” the girl laughed. “Want a free refill later to calm your nerves?” 

“H-Huh?” 

“Just be confident and don’t overthink, it’s gonna be alright.” She smiled at him before going back to her work, leaving him dumbfounded. 

Maybe… Goro really was overthinking. He took a sip of his drink. It was good, but… nowhere near as good as Ren’s coffee. He decided not to accept the refill. Maybe he could convince him to make some for him… if he was lucky enough. He still thanked the girl before leaving though. 

He was supposed to just follow his heart today, right? No more hesitating. 

With the cold February wind hitting his face and a map in his hand, Goro began to search for the right place once again. 

*** 

_ This asshole never really told me what kind of house his place is.  _

This was Goro’s first thought upon finally finding it. He had to make sure of it several times, as it was hard to believe that the guy who spent a year living in the attic was… actually a kid from a rich family. 

But ironically, that only strengthened his impression that this place wasn’t good for Ren. Did his parent even care? How lonely was he here if he would prefer to stay in the dirty attic instead of coming back here, if he had a choice? 

Nobody seemed to be home yet, but maybe that’s better. The only person he was here for was Ren, not his family. He could wait. He took so long to get here in the first place that he probably wouldn’t have to wait long. 

_ Don’t think about it too hard, just wait. You’ll cross that bridge when you get to it,  _ he thought while sitting at the bottom of the stairs leading to the entrance door.  _ You wanted to see him, and that’s what you’re going to get.  _

He felt so out of his element.

Tuning out his annoying thoughts was much harder to do than he thought, and all he had with him was his bag and his phone. In the end, mindlessly scrolling through social media and messaging Sakamoto was all he could make himself do. He was almost beginning to doze off when he heard a familiar voice.

“Come on, you could’ve at least accepted the gift! You made that girl sad!” Morgana complained, and Goro felt like he knew exactly what the cat was talking about. 

“That wasn’t friendship chocolate, Morgana,” Ren replied calmly. “Can’t give her false hope. I’ll get myself a gift tomorrow.”

He turned someone down. On Valentine’s Day. Goro almost wanted to laugh. How could he be so sure he wouldn’t get turned down either? He didn’t really come here to confess, so maybe he at least wouldn’t be told to just go home. Well, Ren did say he was invited… 

Goro stood up, mentally preparing himself for this meeting. He didn’t really have any idea what to expect. Well, he rarely had any when it came to Ren, but it was alright. It’s why he came to find him interesting in the first place. It’s how he got the chance to come to love him. 

“Well, it’s not like anyone else here would give you-” 

Morgana stopped mid-sentence. Well, Goro had the impression that everything just stopped for a moment the second Ren noticed him and their eyes met. 

The silence was almost deafening. He really should’ve thought about what to say. 

“I’ll leave you two alone,” Morgana said quietly, as if reading the mood and not wanting to disturb them, and then jumped out of Ren’s bag, quickly disappearing somewhere. 

The silence lasted for a moment longer and they still haven’t broken the eye contact. Then… Ren smiled in a very unsure way. 

“This… isn’t a dream, right?” The boy asked, and Goro felt his heart sink. He hesitated only for a moment.

“Of course it’s not, idiot,” he replied. “Just come here.” 

If their first reaction seemed to drag out forever, now everything happened fast. Ren simply dropped his bag to the ground and the next moment they had their arms wrapped tightly around each other, as if they couldn’t stand being apart even a second longer. Maybe that’s what it really was, Goro thought, letting out a surprised noise when Ren lifted him a little and spun them around. 

“We r-really could’ve done without this!” He exclaimed, clinging to Ren so they wouldn’t lose their balance. 

“Sorry,” Ren laughed, squeezing him even more tightly. “I had to confirm it’s really you. I’m so happy.” 

He put him back on the ground, but didn’t let go, instead burying his face in Goro’s shoulder. Only now he was beginning to understand just how close they were, and how he felt sort of awkward now, but he didn’t want to pull away. It was okay. Somehow managing to pull off his gloves and drop them to the ground, he returned the embrace, sneaking one way into Ren’s hair, receiving a pleased hum. 

"You really came here," he mumbled into the fabric of Goro's clothes. "For me."

"No shit," Goro laughed. "I definitely wouldn't come such a long way for Morgana."

"Why didn't you tell me? I'd skip school. We could have more time together."

"It wasn't really planned. I just… did it on a whim."  __

"You? On a whim?" Ren let out a laugh, pulling away a little to be able to look at him. "What happened to you? Did they replace you with a lookalike?"

"Shut up, I'm capable of spontaneous actions too," Goro grumbled, this time hiding his face in Ren's neck. 

"Of course. I just didn't expect you to drop everything and come to meet me on Valentine's Day," he replied, and Goro felt him rest his cheek against his head. Of course he would tease him about it. Of course. “I’m really happy. There’s nobody I’d rather spend this day with other than you.”

Whatever smart response Goro could’ve come up with, it was no longer possible to form. He always managed to say something that’d send Goro’s thoughts into total chaos. 

He was beginning to think that was the point though. If he momentarily couldn’t be eloquent, maybe he just needed to be honest. 

“Me too. I wanted to see you today,” he muttered, running his fingers through the unruly hair. “I’m glad I did it.” 

Ren pulled away once again, and for a second Goro was worried he said too much, but the other boy’s expression told him otherwise. One of his hands traveled to Goro’s face to caress it gently while still looking at him as he would at something precious. 

Maybe this would be a good moment for a kiss, if they were actually dating, but they weren’t, so they just stood there, staring at each other, with Goro feeling as if his knees were about to betray him. Well, it’s not like Ren would let him fall anyway. 

“So, did you bring me a gift?” He asked, smiling at him softly. 

“I already told you it wasn’t a planned trip. I didn’t bring you anything.” Goro let out a laugh, leaning into his touch. “Though I was offered some friendship chocolate by Yoshizawa-san. We could share, if it hasn’t melted in my pocket yet.” 

“Ah? What a shame it wasn’t you who made it, that could be interesting.” Ren laughed as well. “It’s fine though. You’re my best present.” 

“Does everything you say have to be so goddamn cheesy!?” Goro asked, barely stopping himself from looking away but clearly blushing. Apparently Ren found it really amusing. 

"Sorry. I'm under the impression that you like hearing these things though. And I mean them," he said, rubbing his thumb against Goro's cheek. "You're cold. How long have you been outside?" 

"Too long, I think."

For a moment Ren just stared at him, with that soft look on his face, as if thinking. 

"Let's go grab something to eat. You probably haven't eaten the whole day, knowing you," he said in the end. "And I haven't had dinner yet either, so it's perfect." 

He didn’t say anything about his parents. 

Goro didn’t ask. He felt like there was no need to. 

This day was supposed to be just for the two of them anyway. Their time alone. 

*** 

Ren took him to the nearby shopping center. They got burgers.  _ There’s not many places I could take you to around here,  _ Ren explained, looking very embarrassed, but Goro found himself not really caring about that. Maybe it wasn’t exactly a romantic dinner, but that wasn’t what he came there for anyway. They were probably a strange sight, two teenage boys together on Valentine’s Day, eating junk food in a mall, but there was some magic in this simplicity. 

When they left that place, it was already getting dark. Goro realized he didn’t even know if he had a train home now, but he didn’t want to worry about it. Not when Ren just took his hand and twined their fingers together, pulling him along somewhere. 

And Goro let him. In the dark, in a city unknown to him, he let the only person he’d ever trusted this much lead him by the hand.

After a while, they found themselves on the road alongside the river banks. They didn’t really talk, just walked together in silence, holding hands as if it was the natural thing to do. Funny how Goro’s hands remained hidden under the gloves for most of time, but with Ren he didn’t feel the need to cover them. The feeling of bare skin against bare skin was… pleasant. More than that, actually, but Goro was never great at giving names to his feelings. 

Squeezing Ren’s hand a little, he looked up. He was right earlier, the night sky was so pretty. 

“Much better than in the city, right?” Ren asked, reading him perfectly once more. “Though that’s the only benefit of living here.” 

“Well, that’s at least something,” he laughed a little. “No other source of entertainment? Really?” 

“You have to get creative for that.” the other boy grinned. “Hey, do you see the stairs leading down, over there?” 

“I do, but… What are you planning?” 

“Let’s race there,” Ren said casually. “That’s the kind of entertainment you get here.” 

“Are you serious?” Goro asked, frowning a little. 

“Totally.” He nodded, giving his hand a light squeeze before letting go. “You’re not going to run from a challenge, right?” 

Smirking at him, Goro looked back toward the goal line.

“Of course not.” 

Not even waiting for any signal, he started running. 

“Hey, that’s cheating!” Ren called out, instantly following him, but Goro already had the advantage, and the distance between the start and the goal wasn’t even big. There was no way Ren could catch up to him. 

Except, he forgot that they didn’t really agree on a goal. He thought it was just reaching the stairs, but while he himself stopped, Ren just sprinted down them. 

“Now you’re cheating!” He exclaimed, throwing himself after him, but now it was Goro who was too late. As his last attempt to win, he reached out and grabbed Ren’s hand, which only resulted in him turning around and laughing while stumbling into Goro’s arms again, almost sending them to the ground. 

“Guess we’re both cheating a little. Next time, let's play fair,” he said, hugging him tightly before pulling away and taking a few steps towards the river edge. Picking a large rock rock, he sat down and for a moment, the only sound they could hear was the flowing water. Not thinking about it too hard, Goro took a seat next to him. 

It took them another moment to break the silence.

“You know… I hate being stuck here,” Ren started quietly, his voice strained. “I hated having to come back here. People are still giving me weird looks wherever I go, and whatever friends I had here before, nobody cares anymore. It’s kind of humiliating. And lonely. Even my parents don’t treat me the same way anymore, like I’ve turned into a stranger.” 

Goro wasn’t really sure how to respond, but he expected Ren still wasn’t done. So he just let him talk. The two of them were the same, deep down. Making them talk about themselves was like a miracle, so this… meant a lot. 

It meant Ren trusted him.

“You know we don’t really use the groupchat all that often, you’re in there too,” he continued. “And I don’t talk to the others as often as you could expect. Somehow... I never find the right words to say when we call. It just turns into me listening again, but… that’s how it’s always been.” 

He let out a somewhat bitter laughter, but then, he turned to Goro, and his expression softened yet again. 

“But you. You always listen to me, no matter how stupid what I say is, and for some reason, with you, I can actually do that. It feels… It feels like you understand," he said, smiling in a way that made Goro's face feel hot. "You're special, Goro. That's why I'm so happy to have you here, even if only for a day." 

_ You’re special. _

That’s what he always wanted to be. He wished to be wanted in someone’s life, for someone,  _ anyone,  _ to accept him for who he was. 

Was is really this simple? Was that  _ someone  _ really right in front of him? Could he give into this?

“I… really thought nothing good was ever going to happen to me, ever,” he said after a moment, his own voice even quieter than Ren’s. “My childhood, then Shido and Yaldabaoth… but I also met you. That might’ve been another level of misfortune altogether though.” 

Now it was Ren who just let him talk. It was probably easy to guess he wasn’t done yet. 

“Isn’t it funny how we were never supposed to get along in the first place? We were supposed to hate each other and fight to death. And I almost… I almost followed this plan without even knowing it existed.” He laughed, but it sounded bitter even to himself. “And even then, it was still only getting worse. What that bastard Maruki did… that fake world… Just think about it. How would you feel if you were offered everything you’ve ever wanted, knowing it was a lie? It really felt like being told I don’t deserve any of this.” 

“Everything you’ve ever wanted…?” Ren’s eyes widened as he asked that question. It was too embarrassing to answer though.

“It doesn’t matter anymore. None of that does,” he replied. “Because waking up back in the real world was like being told I can still make something of this life. And that what I want isn’t actually going away anywhere, and I’ll just have to earn it. And that’s alright. What I want is worth any effort.” 

He hoped his hand wasn’t trembling too badly when he reached for Ren’s, but even if it did, the other boy didn’t point it out, just held it back, staring at him with wide eyes, as if he didn’t understand anything. Or didn’t believe what he just heard. 

“I’m glad I met you,” Goro said, giving him something between a smile and a smirk and watching the confusion melt into a flustered expression. “And coming here today was my step towards learning how to show that.” 

Ren simply covered his face with his free hand, making Goro laugh. He had probably never seen him looking this flustered before, but with how amusing it was, he should probably try again sometime. 

“You outdid me once again,” he muttered through his fingers. 

“Was this supposed to be a competition?” 

“I just wanted to say something sappy on this special day, but you went all out. You took me off guard.” 

“Wha-” Goro uttered. “This wasn’t my intention!” 

“But it already happened,” Ren replied with a shaky laugh, then stood up from his rock, pulling Goro along. “I’ll have to do better than that. Hey, dance with me.” 

“What?!” 

“Just what I said, dance with me. Let’s make it at least a little romantic,” he said, guiding Goro’s hands to place them on his waist. “I can’t actually dance though. You’ll have to lead me.” 

“Then why did you even ask me…?” 

“Because I wanted to do this,” Ren hummed, sneaking his arms around Goro’s neck, one hand resting there and diving under his scarf to rub gentle circles against his skin, bringing them even closer together. “Please?” 

Saying ‘no’ to those eyes was always hard. The way Ren looked at him always felt like he was reaching deep inside his soul... Taking a deep breath, he moved his hands to hold Ren more confidently. 

“We don’t even have any music,” he muttered. They were so close that when Ren laughed he could not as much hear it, but  _ feel  _ it. It was doing funny things to him. 

“I’d ask you to sing for me, but that’s probably too much.” Ren reached into his pocket, pulling out his phone and earbuds, then putting one in Goro’s ear without even asking. “Let’s see…” 

A few seconds later, a familiar melody began, and he couldn’t even get irritated about Ren doing whatever he pleased. 

_ People come and they go… Some people may stay with you though… _

“You-” Goro stuttered for a moment, watching a smirk creep onto Ren’s face. “You remembered? This whole time?” 

“I actually bought the whole album a few days after you took me to that club,”” he replied with a grin, taking the other earbud for himself. “Reminded me of you. We should go back sometime, I promised the owner I’ll bring you there again.” 

Goro would comment on it some other time. Tease him for being sentimental, maybe. Scold him for making a promise he had no way of knowing would be possible to keep. For hurting himself by doing things like this.

But now he just rested his forehead against Ren’s shoulder, wrapping his arms around him. 

“You okay?” Ren asked, returning the embrace.

“It’s cold. You’re warm.” 

“I see. We’ve been outside for too long,” he said softly, petting Goro’s hair. “Maybe we should go home instead.” 

“Home?” He muttered, squeezing him more tightly, recalling the earlier forgotten issue with trains, the fact that he didn’t really have a place to stay at here, and that he didn’t really want to go back to Tokyo yet, to his apartment that wasn’t really home, because it was just as empty and lonely as always. 

But Ren just told him he hated having to come back here. That this place wasn’t home for him either, and that staying here was a pain. 

Where was this home, then?

“Mhm. Stay with me tonight. We’ll make up some excuse about why you’re staying. Aren’t you good at bullshitting?” Ren replied, pressing a kiss to the side of his head.

_ Stay with me.  _

Maybe that’s what it meant. Maybe it wasn’t about the place. He had a lot to learn in this respect, but… Ren was probably the same. They could learn together. If they came this far, from literal hell to these peaceful moments, building what they had from scratch, then things could only get better, right? 

Goro thought that even if everything else still sucked, even if he never stopped being bitter towards the world… in this moment, under the starry sky, in Ren’s arms… 

Life seemed beautiful. 

“Alright. I’m taking your bed though. And don’t blame me if your parents get any wrong ideas,” Goro said with a laugh, not actually caring what ideas Ren’s parents could get. Maybe he even wanted them to think  _ something _ , a spiteful part of him wanting to tell off anyone who didn’t appreciate Ren enough. 

“We can fit on the bed together, if we make Morgana sleep somewhere else. And who said those ideas would be wrong?” Ren hummed quietly. “I don’t care about it either way.”

This could mean a lot of things, and not a lot of them were positive, but… even if tomorrow he had to go back to Tokyo, it wasn’t long before Ren was supposed to come there for good too. And if he himself decided not to look back, Goro thought he’d be alright with that. He wasn’t leaving him behind this time, nor he was the one being left behind. 

This time, they had all the time in the world.

“Well, I still need a place to stay tonight, better not to piss them off,” he laughed, untangling himself from Ren’s embrace and pulling him towards the stairs. “But the day you’re supposed to leave this town… I can come to pick you up and we’ll see what can be done.” 

“Oh, I like this tone. Show them, mister detective,” Ren said, following him now.

“If I actually do, you might not have anything to return to here, ever.”

“I think it’d be worth it, to be honest. Do you remember the way back?” 

“No. But I’ll find it somehow. We didn’t wander off too far.” 

“Mhm. I’ll leave myself in your care then. Goro?”

“Hmm?”

For a moment, he looked as if he was fighting against himself, wanting to say something, but not being sure if he should. In the end, he looked away. 

Goro had a feeling he knew what it was, but wasn’t sure if he was ready to hear that.

“If not now, there will be another chance,” he repeated what Takamaki told him, making Ren’s eyes widen. “Let’s take our time.” 

The nod he received as a response was all he needed. He let Ren catch up to him, instead of just pulling him along, because maybe neither of them needed to lead the other in the dark and they could just walk together, and maybe he just really didn’t know where he was going and needed some help. 

In the end, only time could show.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this will very likely have a white day continuation, but for now, thank you for reading! <3


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